Warning: The following story references sexual abuse and domestic violence.
“I grew up in Nigeria. At university, I became close with my roommate who then became my partner. She was a year older than me so she left a year before me. To hide my sexuality, I got a ‘boyfriend’. Because of him, I was a rape victim, and couldn’t get close to anyone for some time.
“After I graduated and started working, I fell in love with a man from France and got pregnant. We weren’t married so to avoid the pressure of being an unmarried mother, I went to France to have my baby. Then I found out he was married with three kids and he abandoned me in a shelter. I didn’t know anyone in France and returned to Nigeria.
“Four days after returning, my sister died. There was no one to look after her two children so I took care of them as my own. Eventually I got married and had another child. But there was no love in that marriage. My partner from university also wasn’t happy in her marriage. So when her husband was away on business, I went to visit her. Her husband came home early and caught us. He was furious and started beating her. She was yelling at me to run. That was the last thing she said to me. I haven’t heard from her since 2009.
“I got my kids and fled to France since my first child was French-born. I found out later that my partner gave her husband fake locations to buy me time to escape. And that he kept on harassing my family after I was gone. But being in France wasn’t easy. We had no family here, and no money. I slept on the street with my kids. It was only when I got temporary papers that I could get a little cleaning work to support us. After a short time, I was told my papers weren’t valid and had to leave within 30 days. I couldn’t go back to Nigeria. It wasn’t safe for me or my kids. Luckily with help, I was able to get to Canada.
“It was tough at the start. We were living in a shelter and we only had a few clothes. I was so lonely and depressed. But a friend told me about Rainbow Connect. When I came there, they didn’t turn me away! Everywhere I’d been, people rejected me because of my kids, immigration status, or my sexual identity. But not here. Meeting people at Rainbow Connect, I saw there were so many people like me. They became my family, my sisters. In a few months, I felt strong enough to share my story with them, like I’m sharing now.
“A few years ago, staff at Rainbow Connect helped me get my official status in Canada. The hearing was supposed to be long but when I spoke, it was done in only 10 minutes. Today, I have a good job and a three-bedroom apartment. I want to give my kids a good life, especially with what they went through. I still come to Rainbow Connect today. They gave me back everything I lost. They gave me back my life.”